嫌味を言う人というのは、どこの世界にもいるのですが、嫌味に反撃しても、ほとんど意味がないので、嫌味を言われても「あなた自身」を、奪われないようになる必要があるのです。
とは言っても、人は周りの環境に支配されやすいので、簡単には出来ないのですが、少しずつでも考え方を変えたり、意識をする事で、嫌味を言われる環境を、逆に支配する事も出来るのです。
嫌味を言う人に反撃しても、根本の解決にはならないので、考え方と対処方法をお伝えします。
嫌味を言う人に、反撃をしたい！そんな貴方に！
嫌味を言う人には、心を開かない
嫌味を言う人を、無理に変えようとしたり、反発したりしないで、あなた自身の心を閉ざしてください。相手の嫌味の話しを、聞かないという事です。
簡単な態度としては、「腕を組む」という事ですが、会社の上司とかの場合は、そのような態度をとるのは難しいので、出来る限り聞き流す事と、客観的に聞くようにしてください。
他人事のように聞けばいいのです。
そして、嫌味を言う人とは、必要最低限のつき合いだけにしてください。
職場であれば、必要最低限の事しか会話をしないで、相手に踏み込む事も、自分に踏み込まれる事も、出来る限り避けてください。
仕事上の業務に支障がなければ、何の問題もないので、無理に付き合う必要はないので、より短い時間だけの最低限の付き合いだけにしてください。
嫌味を言われてもダメージを受けない自分になる
理想論の話しになってしまうのですが、嫌味を言われてもダメージを受けない自分になる、ということを目指していくのです。
嫌味にダメージを受けてしまうので、反発反撃をしたくなるのですが、ダメージを受けなければ、何も感じないので、イライラする事もなくなるのです。
嫌味にダメージを受けるというのは、厳しい言い方になりますが、あなたの中に同じ要素があるからなのです。
たとえば、痩せている人に「デブ」と言っても、全く気にならないのです。なぜなら「デブ」という自覚が全くないので、傷つかないのです。これを太っている人に言ったら、とても傷つくのです。
嫌味にダメージを受けないためには、まず何を言われたら、ダメージを受けているのかに気づいてください。
ダメージを受ける事自体が、良い、悪いという事ではなく、何を言われたら傷つくのかを客観的に把握するのです。
ダメージを受ける言葉を把握する事で、あなたの中の同じ要素を考えてみるのです。
あなたが感じるダメージに気づく事が出来れば、ダメージを受けない自分になる事が、出来るようになっていきます。
嫌味を言われても何の反応もしない
嫌味を言われても、なるべく反応しないようにしてください。
でも人は、言葉で感情が動いてしまうので、これも簡単には出来ないのですが、嫌味に対して、否定も肯定もしないという事です。
嫌味を言う人が求めているのは、相手の反応なのです。
無意識に嫌味を言う人も、相手の反応を求めているので、何の反応もしなければ、自然に空しさを感じてしまうのです。
嫌味を言う人の根底は、ただかまってほしいか、無視されたくないからなのです。
ですので、何の反応もしなければ、嫌味はただ流れていくだけなのです。
嫌味を言う人の「恐怖心」に気づく
上から目線で嫌味を言う人の根底の心理は、「恐怖心」なのです。
会社の上司で、やたらと上から目線で嫌味を言う人がいますが、「部下に舐められたくない」という、恐怖心を無意識に感じているのです。
基本、日本人は真面目な人が多いので、上司に逆らう事はしないのに、やたらと上から目線の人は、劣等感が強いのです。
あなたの上の立場の人が、嫌味を言ってきた場合、「この人には恐怖心がある」、という事に気づいてください。
その恐怖心を見抜いてください。見抜いても、何も言う必要はないので、ただ気づいてください。
人は、自分の「恐怖心」に気づかれる事が恐怖なのです。そして、自分の恐怖心に気づかれたら、恥ずかしさを感じるので、それ以上、嫌味を言えなくなります。
相手の「恐怖心」に気づく事で、無言で見抜く事が出来るので、そこから相手を変える事も出来るのです。
嫌味を言う人に同情する
嫌味を言う人の、根底を見抜く事が出来たら、相手に同情する事が出来るようになります。
嫌味を言う人は、嫌味を言われてきたのです。いじめる人は、いじめられてきたのです。
その原因を追究する必要はありませんが、必ずどこかで嫌味を言われてきたし、いじめられてきたのです。
それに対して、同情してあげればいいのです。同情は無言の同情でいいので、何も言わなくても理解が出来るようになれば、嫌味を言う人の見方を変える事が出来ます。
いかがでしたか？
嫌味を言う人というのは、道徳的に考えたら良いとは言えません。ただ、嫌味というのは、無意識に言ってしまうのも事実なのです。
言われた方は、理解が出来ないので、イライラするのですが、根底の問題は、言っている本人の表面だけの問題ではない、という事です。
出来れば、あなたが相手の心理の根底を見抜いて、無言で相手を変えられるように出来る事が理想です。
嫌味が嫌味を生み出す悪循環を、どこかで転換出来るようになれば、嫌味を完全に無くす事も可能なのです。
まとめ
嫌味を言う人に、反撃をしたい！そんな貴方に！
- 嫌味を言う人には、心を開かない
- 嫌味を言われてもダメージを受けない自分になる
- 嫌味を言われても何の反応もしない
- 嫌味を言う人の「恐怖心」に気づく
- 嫌味を言う人に同情する
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