自分の失敗を人のせいにして、自分を守ろうとする人っていますよね。
それは、自分は悪くないと本気で思っているのか、多少は罪悪感を感じているのか、わかりませんが、そんな自分を直したいと考えているのなら罪悪感があるのでしょう。
自覚しているのなら、それを改善する心得を7つ紹介します。
すぐ人のせいにしてしまう自分を直したい、7つの心得
今の自分を人のせいにしない
人のせいにする癖がついてしまったのは、確かに自分一人だけの責任ではないでしょう。
親や親戚に可愛がられ過ぎて自、分は特別だと思い込んでしまう場合も確かにあります。
自分は普通の人間だと気付くことが出来たのなら、原因は何だったかを考えるより、今の自分をどう変えるかを考える方が、これからのためにもなります。
たとえ原因が親だったとしても、改善させたり取り除けるものではありません。自分を変えるのは自分自身なのです。
自分の非は素直に認める
失敗したことを人のせいにしつつも、心の中では罪悪感でいっぱいなはずです。
人のせいにするという癖があっても罪悪感があるのなら、その罪悪感を解消するためにも、自分の失敗を認めることです。
悪いと思えば謝る。冷静になって、自分に非があるか考えてください。この時に、「自分は悪くない」という思い込みを捨ててください。
罪悪感から逃れるために非を認めないのが、人のせいにしてしまう癖を持っている人が、してしまいがちなことです。
無理に逃れようとはせずに、素直に反省してください。非を認めるのは、自分を直すことに繋がっています。
失敗を恐れない
失敗を人のせいにしてしまうのなら、失敗しなければいいのです。
社会では、部下が失敗することは上司の責任問題にもなります。であるなら、上司は部下の力をしっかり見ているはずです。
この仕事ならちゃんとやってくれる、成功させてくれると思ったから仕事を任せているのです。
失敗しないと信じてもらえているのに、自分が自分のことを、また失敗して人のせいにしちゃうんだろうなと思っていては、簡単なことも出来なくなってしまいます。
目の前にあることを失敗しないと信じてください。
責任は権利の裏返し
いざとなったとき、責任を取る立場にいる人は、それなりの権利も与えられているはずです。
そのいざというときは、必ず来るわけではありません。いざというときが来なくても、権利は残ります。
責任を取ることが怖いから、人のせいにしているのなら、それでは権利を主張することも許されません。責任を果たすから、権利を受け取れるのです。
権利を受け取れるそのチャンスを、責任が嫌だからと人のせいにばかりしていると、何も得ることはできません。
人のせいにするということは、成功のチャンスも捨てていることになります。
ミスは自分を成長させるチャンス
失敗を人のせいにすると、何度も同じ失敗をします。何故なら、反省していないからです。失敗のたびに、いろんな人のせいにしているからです。
失敗したら、反省や謝罪をしないと、人のせいにする癖は直せません。自分の何が悪かったのか考えるのは、必要なことですが、自分以外の誰が失敗のきっかけを作ったかを考えるのは余計なことです。
失敗した経緯を考えるのなら、必ず次は成功させると思えるようになってください。
人のせいにせずに、失敗を受け止めて成功に変わった時、必ず精神的にも何かが変わって成長しているはずです。
余計なプライドは邪魔になる
人のせいにしなきゃ守れないプライドなんて、邪魔にしかなりません。そんなもの、いつまで持っているつもりなのでしょうか。
人のせいにするなんて、みっともない癖をいつまでも自分の中に根付かせているプライドなんて、何の利益があるのでしょうか。
いらないものは捨てていってください。ずっと自分の中で根付いていたものを取り除くことは、難しいことでしょう。
プライドは雑草です。抜いても抜いても出てきます。だから反省するという除草剤で枯らしていくのです。
完璧な人間なんていない
人のせいにしてしまう癖を持っている人は、自分はミスをしない、完璧な人間だと思われたいという共通点があります。
自分は完璧で、特別な人間だと周囲にアピールしたいのです。なので、自分が完璧でも特別でもない、普通の人間だと思われることが何よりも嫌なのです。
でも、そんなアピールをしていても、周囲は人にミスを押し付ける器の小さい人間だと気付いています。
完璧な人間だと思われたいのなら、自分が凡人だという事実と向き合ってください。努力なしの完璧な人間なんて、どこにもいません。
いかがでしたか?
7つの心得を書きましたが、自分の心に響くものはあったでしょうか。失敗を、全て自分のせいだと思うのはネガティブすぎますが、人のせいはポジティブとは言えません。
ポジティブに生きていくためにも、反省は必要なのです。反省は、失敗を成長に変えてくれます。
変われない人間なんていません。成長できない人間もいません。自分の悪い部分を改善しようと思えたのなら、改善策をいくらでも発見できていくはずです。
変わる変わらないは、自分の心次第なのです。
まとめ
すぐ人のせいにしてしまう自分を直したい、7つの心得
- 今の自分を人のせいにしない
- 自分の非は素直に認める
- 失敗を恐れない
- 責任は権利の裏返し
- ミスは自分を成長させるチャンス
- 余計なプライドは邪魔になる
- 完璧な人間なんていない
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Good post. I am dealing with some of these issues as well..
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I’m extremely pleased to discover this page. I need to to thank you for your time for this particularly wonderful read!! I definitely really liked every bit of it and I have you book-marked to check out new things on your website.
After I initially commented I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now whenever a comment is added I recieve four emails with the exact same comment. Is there a way you can remove me from that service? Kudos.
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Aw, this was a very nice post. Finding the time and actual effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I put things off a whole lot and never manage to get anything done.