「我慢」を広辞苑で引くと、いくつかの意味が出てきます。
高慢や強情と意味を同じくしている他に、「耐え忍ぶこと、忍耐」というのがあります。
「我慢する気持ち」は、この忍耐に当てはまりますね。ですが、忍耐を自発的にしてよい場合と、よくない場合があります。
そこで今回は、どんな時に我慢したら自分にプラスになるのか、また我慢してはダメな場合について考えてみました。
我慢とは自分の成長の手助けをする
我慢する気持ちは、大切なのだろうか?
我慢とは、どんな時にするのか・・・
やりたい事や欲しい物を我慢する、我慢にも色々な状況での「ガマン」がありますね。
我慢をする理由は何なのでしょう?どうして、みんな我慢をするのでしょう?また、どんな事も我慢しなければ、だめなのでしょうか?
実は、「していい我慢」と「してはいけない我慢」があるんですね。
していい我慢とは、我慢しながら自分を鍛え、成長させる事が出来る要素を持っています。
また、社会生活を営む上で、良い人間関係を築く手助けをしてくれたり、自分の将来設計を現実化する、手伝いをしてくれるものです。
では、具体的にどんな状況があるのか見て行きましょう。
我慢する必要なんかない!場合もある
耐える必要のない、状況があります。それは、『人』として尊重されない場合です。
家庭内で暴力をふるわれる、学校でも同様に、暴力や非道な扱いを受ける。職場でも理由なく差別をされたり、根拠のない事で責任を押しつけられたり・・・こんな状況には、我慢をする必要はありません。
こんな時は逃げる、抵抗する事で、まず自分を守ります。
そして同時に、こんな状況の起きる原因は何なのか?を考えて、解決する事が大切です。
勉強や仕事がキツイ時は、もうちょっと我慢して頑張って!と、言いたいところですが、人それぞれ状況が異なりますので、我慢が高じて、ストレスから病気にならないようにしてくださいね。
感情コントロールの「我慢」
人間ですから、感情は常に一定というわけにはいきません。
でも、湧きあがった感情に流されて、行動を起こしてしまっては、どんな結果が自分に残るのか分かりません。
自分の思うように運ばないからと、その場にいる人達に八つ当たりをする、すぐ手を上げるなどは、コントロールする必要があります。
学生から社会人になって、一番要求されるのが感情のコントロールと同僚との協調性です。
自分の感情を、うまくコントロールする事が出来るようになると、他人の感情も察知出来るようになります。
これは、自分の感情の高揚を我慢しながら、自分の感情を観察しています。
観察を繰り返す事で、自分の感情のみならず、人の感情の動きも知る事が出来るようになるわけです。
欲求コントロールの「我慢」
欲しい物を我慢する場合も、様々です。
お給料が入ったから、手当たりしだいに気に入った物を買ったりするのは、我慢が必要です。
独立しているなら、生活費や家賃、将来の貯蓄を考えないわけにはいきません。
親と同居していても、いずれ独立する時の事を考えた、生活設計をしていかなければなりません。
同様に、ある欲求が生まれた時に、欲求を満たすためのシュミレーションが作れれば、大きな問題を回避できる上に、欲しい物を手に入れる最善策も見つけやすくなります。
また、欲しいという気持ちをコントロールする事で、忍耐力を付ける事になります。
目標達成のためにする我慢
『イチロー』選手が、小学6年生の時に書いた作文、「夢」(https://youtu.be/9Kj98KaIlCU)を読むと、自分の夢を達成するためには、感情と欲求を、どう「我慢」して、モチベーション維持に繋げるかが分かります。
同時に、「我慢」は目標達成のために自発的に行われ、目標達成のためには、何をしなければいけないかも、設計されています。
今の一瞬の楽しさをとるか、先の大きなメリットをとるのか。
または、目先の欲求と数カ月先、または数年先の目標達成のどちらを選ぶかで、自発的な『我慢』が出てくるのかもしれません。
夢に描く将来のために、今、出来る事が欲求のガマンや努力なのかもしれませんね。
そして、この「我慢」は、もちろん一度だけではありません。ですが、一度我慢によって、良い結果を得られると自信を作り上げます。
我慢して頑張ると、得られる物は大きい、自分はそれが出来るという自信が、ストレスやプレッシャーにも負けず、目標達成のために、困難に立ち向かえるようになっていくわけです。
この我慢した事で得られる達成感は、リーダーとして周りを率いて行く時にも有効に働きます。
いかがでしたか?
我慢するとは、本来自発的な物で、自分の未来を良くする物なのですね。
自分を、いわれなく傷つけられる事に我慢をする必要はありません。むしろ、きちんと問題の解決をするようにしましょう。
自分を鍛える為の『我慢』は、自分の明るい将来を作るための手段。
活用の仕方で、自分を大きく成長させる事が可能なのですね。
まとめ
我慢する気持ちは、大切なのだろうか?
- 我慢とは、どんな時にするのか・・・
- 我慢する必要なんかない!場合もある
- 感情コントロールの「我慢」
- 欲求コントロールの「我慢」
- 目標を達成のためにする我慢
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